Tonight on ISC TV Channel 2: Two hard edge ship captains attempt to keep the peace from the savage races that refuse to help themselves on NY PPD Blue.

By Robert Cole (Zathras) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 05:41 pm: Edit

Survivor: The Hydran/Lyran Border

By Xander F (Dderidex) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:12 pm: Edit

Joe Legionnaire?
Who Wants to be a Centurion?
Pinwheel of Fortune?
Inventing the Sabots? (LOLOL - okay, bad one...)
Everybody Loves Romulus?
The King of Eagles?
That Y170s Show?
The Best Wing?

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:15 pm: Edit

HELP!

By Christopher E. Fant (Cfant) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:22 pm: Edit

Make the bad clowns stop.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:23 pm: Edit

The Taming of the Crew

By Richard K. Glover (Fahrenheit) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:31 pm: Edit

Remus and Andro

Starring Nickolai Cage and Samuelas L. Jackson, this movie deals with two unlikely neighbors in the posh accomidations of Remus on the eve of an andromedan attack.

F°
"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six hours sharpening my axe." -- Abraham Lincoln

By Ryan Peck (Trex) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:31 pm: Edit

-When the parents of two adorable servant-slaves die, the kids move in with the Senator that owned there parents. This show is a classic comedy of mix matched soci-economics. Who can forget that lovable line "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Praetor?" Dont miss tonight's episode of 'Different Cloaks'

-When a Federation CVA group that is about to crash into there homeworld Armagedeon is sure to ensue. Nothing can stop the end of Remus, nothing except the odd ball crew of misfit roughnecks. Starring Ben Affleckivas.

-An Ace shuttle pilot losses his commision and his family do to politcal double cross, watch him rise to power over the Praetor in Gladiator-pilot.

I know what you guys are thinking "How can this guy's brain generate 110% energy, and waste ALL of it!?!?!

By Ryan Peck (Trex) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:35 pm: Edit

If it wasn't for the internet, no one would know how funny I was.

At some point one of the Steves is going to 'Gong' me.

By Christopher E. Fant (Cfant) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:41 pm: Edit

If 'Gong' means execute, then yeah, I'm sure they will.

By Scott Tenhoff (Scottt) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:42 pm: Edit

Why have you guys forgotten the one that started this all?

The Pirates of Penzanse (spelling?)

others:

Gorn Storm Rising
The Million Credit WYN

From Disney Classics:
Gornasaur
Pleasure Planet (It's an Orion Movie, 'nuff said.)
Alladin and his Andro Lamp
Hydran (A lone Hydran infant, growing up with Bipeds on a forest planet)
Snow White and the Seven Tholians
Flametasia (A Romulan Plasma Ballet)
The Lyran King (A tale of betrayal in the Lyran Court)
Beauty and the Klingon (a tale of a human girls love, for a brutal Klingon Lord)
Toy Ship 1+2 (It's a Master's Movie, the ships come alive mysteriously)
A Seltorian's Life (1 Sage, stands up against a bunch of Marauding Tholians)
ISC Inc. (The Mysterious ISC come to terrorize the Alpha Quadrant, but learn humor, is better against people, then PPDs.)

By Christopher E. Fant (Cfant) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 07:51 pm: Edit

running and hiding....

running further away and hiding again....


Aaarrrrggghhhhhh.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 08:06 pm: Edit

No. No, you can't get away.
From hell's heart, I stab at thee.
For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

From Star Trek II, The Wrath of Condor

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 09:15 pm: Edit

No, that should be "Snow White and the Seven Gorn"

By Ryan Peck (Trex) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 09:34 pm: Edit

Let's not forget everyone's favorite game show "WYN, Lose or Draw" (wipes tears from eyes)

As far as the "gong" referrance, there used to be a show called 'the gong show'. Entertainers of various skill levels would have 2-3 minutes in front of a panel of judges. At any time one of the judges could pick up a big mallet and ring a Gong, this marked the end of there career. Those not gonged scored points and advanced to the next round. I loved that show as a kid.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 09:57 pm: Edit

Sort of like American Idol, except that even the bad acts got at least 45 seconds. Guess that's too long for today's audience.

And, before anyone else says it:

The Gorn Show

Instead of on a stage, the acts performed in the ship's airlock.
One of the judges hates the act, and out you go.

By John Trauger (Vorlonagent) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 10:10 pm: Edit

The Kzinti imported the show, but they changed the format.

Bad acts improve greatly when sauteed in a light butter-lemon sauce.

Sort of a combination of the Gong Show and Iron Chef.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 10:15 pm: Edit

Except their gong doesn't sound like a gong.

It sounds like Emeril yelling "BAM!"

And I think we have 2 menus, er, I mean archives, worth of acts.

By John Trauger (Vorlonagent) on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 10:54 pm: Edit

Actually, they imported an Earth custom.

They use a metal triangle and rod. When the act is gonged (or "gorned" if you prefer), the Kzinti who did it yells (in terran stndard)

"COME AN' GIT IT!"

The Federation only found this out when a Kzinti Ambassador brought some of his non-Kzinti servants to the estate of one of the more laid-back Federation consuls.

A non-Kzinti music group was entertaining the guests at the time dinner was served. Eyewitnesses still swear that the performers ran offstage so fast that their instruments hovered for a splitsecond in the air before falling.

By David Slatter (Davidas) on Thursday, January 30, 2003 - 08:14 am: Edit

I get it now

This R-torp engineer family have tweaked their lancher so that when the torp is about to hit, it stops and starts telling terrible jokes.

The shield cannot stand it and shatters into magnetic shards, whereupon everyone inside can hear the jokes.

A couple of hours later, the fed ship is captured, as the crew are still laughing..

By Mike West (Mjwest) on Thursday, January 30, 2003 - 05:00 pm: Edit

More likely the Fed ship is captured because the entire crew slit their wrists.

By Christopher E. Fant (Cfant) on Thursday, January 30, 2003 - 05:21 pm: Edit

Please........please kill it before it's too late.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Thursday, January 30, 2003 - 10:47 pm: Edit

It's not dead. They keep coming back.

Come here you little pun. splat

As Bob Hope once said at an army USO show:
Tanks for the Memories

By Eric Stork (Merchant) on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 12:26 am: Edit

This is the new millenium. Everyone knows reality shows are the hits.

THE SFB LIFE 1

Seven prominent figures from the major races that participated in the General War are thrown together in a backwater base. They must perform missions while under constant surveilance. Watch when they go to the "confessional" and whine about each other. No killing or weapons allowed.

Cast:
Stocker (Federation)
Ketrick (Klingons)
Tiercellus (Romulans)
Cat-of-the-Trees (Kzinti)
S'Trenk (Gorns)
Hydrajak (Hydrans)
Zherek (Lyrans)

Plans for SFB Life 2 involve seven diplomats
________________________________________________

ZONE RULES

Seven prominent figures from the major races that participated in the General War are thrown together on an Orion cruiser. They must perform missions in the ISC Peacekeeping Zone while avoiding patrols.

By Jeff Tonglet (Blackbeard) on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 12:37 am: Edit

THE SFB LIFE 1 - Episode 1: Lunch is served

Fed: Where did you get this stew?

Romulan: And this steak with the butter sauce!?!

Kzinti (who's cook for the day): More?

Romulan: Yes, please.

Fed: I have to tell my ship's cook. How did you make it?

Kzinti: A little of this, and a little of that, and BAM!

Episode 2: Have you seen the Lyran Commander?