The Wolf hereby vetoes this plan by The Power of The Bark!

By Norman Dizon (Normandizon) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 04:40 pm: Edit

In a dark and dreary cellar, 300 miles deep beneath Fortress ADB, something Terrible is about to take place. Water trickles from the ceiling as a single light bulb flashes on and off...

Did he Succumb to the Tickling? Ineffective.
Did you Bribe him with Dog Treats? He Ate Them but did not Reveal Anything.
Is the Replacement in Place? Yes, Stuffed Animal in place.
Does She suspect Anything? No, it is programmed to Bark, Pee, and Run like the Original.
Did the Treadmill Torture work? No, he just Sat There.
Did you Scare him with Alpha Pee Pee Scents? He just Pee'd on them.
Did you Read him the 10,000 Word Thesis on Why Dogs Should Comply with Humans? Yes, he just Fell Asleep.
Did you Threaten him with a Housecat? Yes, he Laughed.
With a Tiger? He Punched him in the Nose.
With a Lion? He Kicked him in the <BEEP>.
With our Sabretooth Tiger Outfit? He knew it Wasn't Real.
Did you bring in the Female Wolf in Leather? Yes, he Looked but his Tail did not Rise.

The Evil Scientist slammed his fist into the table. "I MUST have The Secret! I've waited 50 years to know What Type of Life Form they are!!!"

Did you inject Truth Serum Andro-Truth-001? Yes, he started Singing. It was Painful to Hear.

Is is possible he Doesn't Know?

"No, he Knows!! I am Sure of it. We don't have Any Choice left. We must perform the OPERATION."

A flash of lightning lights up the Evil Scientist's face from below.

"We must CLONE his BRAIN and INSTALL it into the ROBOT DOG BODY we built."

"ROBO-WOLF...WILL LIVE AT LAST!!!"

By Nick Samaras (Koogie) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 04:52 pm: Edit

In my mind the Andromedans all look like Barbara Bouchet (Kelinda)

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 04:54 pm: Edit

Slidarian Corporal;
Take them alive men, Jeff Wile needs company.

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 04:55 pm: Edit

I notice that nobody has thought of the Mind Sifter.

By Steve Petrick (Petrick) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 05:09 pm: Edit

A. David Merritt:

It is a little known fact that the Mind Sifter is ineffective on Canines.

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 05:23 pm: Edit

Ah, I bet the Slidarian Corporal knows that.

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Thursday, June 13, 2019 - 11:03 pm: Edit

If a dog is that hard to interrogate, imagine trying to get information out of a cat!!!


Garth L. Getgen

By Steve Petrick (Petrick) on Friday, June 14, 2019 - 12:19 am: Edit

Garth Getgen:

A wise man would know that you do not interrogate the cat, the cat interrogates you, and enjoys itself immensely while reducing you to gibbering ruin.

By Jeff Wile (Jswile) on Friday, June 14, 2019 - 12:40 am: Edit

What the Slirdarian Corporal DOES NOT KNOW, is how to program the Agonizer Booth.

When he reset it for the latest series of ...ah, urrrre, customers, shall we say, he left the image and audio files set on Lea Thompson.

I had to double up the number of Slirdarian Marines to literally pry the customers from the restraining couches, then frog March them from the compartment.

There is a queue forming up offering bribes, incentives and various inducements to be "punished" again, (and again, and...)

I set the default values for Roseann Barr, wearing a towel and shower cap singing "make a little room for momma!" With the Virtual reality settings to simulate an appropriately sized human female engaging in "lap dance" routine #1.

It should be noted that Slirdarian Corporal has not been properly completing the log entries since the first of the year.

I have washed down the rooms, and conducted normal post punishment hygiene procedures.

Agony booths #1, 2 and 3 ready for immediate use. Room #4 is off line until the matter transmitter heads can be realigned... not sure what exactly was done in room 4... and frankly I think I would MUCH rather NOT know, thank you very much.

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Friday, June 14, 2019 - 12:11 pm: Edit

Slidarian Corporal;

Who wants tiny hairless women? Perverts!

By Jeffrey George Anderson (Jeff) on Friday, June 14, 2019 - 12:29 pm: Edit

Sgt. G,

As bad as it can be to interrogate a cat, never, EVER try to Baptize one...

(Got that one from Larry the Cable Guy... )

By Charles Gray (Cgray34) on Saturday, June 29, 2019 - 07:19 pm: Edit

So, a question--at what point in history are the Magellanics "equal" to the alpha races? Their ships tend to be rather weak compared to the Operation Unity/ISC conflict hulls, so at what point would they be, on a ship to ship basis, more dangerous?

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 01:33 am: Edit

In our groups experience, running late General War units in 750ish point groups, with anything from ADB legal to take, Alpha, Omega, LMC, Triangulum, Nicozians, Borak, etc. Most of Omega does fairly well, their big weakness is that the larger the ship, the lower the top speed, which can be an issue in "race" type encounters. Power wise they are largely even. Now some empires can have RPS issues, a LDR vs Flivver match up usually ends in a draw, the LDR is spending to much power on ph-Gs and ESGs to catch them, and the Flivver leaves, once their racks are empty. Phon and Web Caster equipped Tholians can get very ugly, paired or opposed etc.

Of course, in squadron strength, you can take a better match up, than "just" a CA vs. a CA. Sadly our group broke up shortly after the Nicosians were released.

By Richard B. Eitzen (Rbeitzen) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 01:49 am: Edit

I'd imagine that Omegans generally do poorly against alpha seeking weapon empires or Klingon/Lyran carrier groups, at least once they get fast drones.

Let's not talk about speed 40 plasma ships (especially if also advanced technology).

By Jeffrey George Anderson (Jeff) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 11:14 am: Edit

SFB is a complicated game, and while BPV is a pretty good reference to determine what is balanced, the magic of the game is that good tactics and a few lucky die rolls can have a profound impact.

A good example of all this is with regard to Magellanics being weak. Mass driver missiles are interceptable, easily destroyed with three points of damage, and will only do five points of damage IF they get through defenses (for a standard ASM). Pretty pathetic, right?

Not necessarily.

A simple Baduvai group of a CA and a PFT will be expected to have ten gunboats between them. This means that, in addition to their own MD launchers, if I remember the designs correctly, there'll be 35 of that weapon system.

How many ships will be able to stop more than a dozen of the incoming missiles? Two dozen getting through the defenses will be over a hundred points of damage. Who can take that sort of pounding?

The three fighter squadrons (eight fighters each) on the Maghadim Assault Carrier Battle Group are just as bad.

By Richard B. Eitzen (Rbeitzen) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 12:08 pm: Edit

I don't think anyone was saying mass drivers are weak, as they are not.

By Gregory S Flusche (Vandor) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 12:41 pm: Edit

What he is saying is...that it depends on tactics used and some races are better vs others. I have also noticed that a very experienced player will win more often then a player with less experience

By A. David Merritt (Adm) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 01:25 pm: Edit

Richard B. Eitzen;

Some Omegans do fairly well vs drones, the Phon spore caster is a very effective against fast drones, and the Worb SEF is also rather effective, with smart maneuvering. However there are a lot of match ups where it would be more like the Gorn against drone heavy forces.

Given that Advanced Technology has not been released for Omega yet, yes X-Ships are very successful, that will likely change if Advanced tech is ever released for Omega.

By Richard B. Eitzen (Rbeitzen) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 02:04 pm: Edit

While you did list a couple of exceptions, I did say 'generally' the Omegans have trouble with fast alpha weapons seeking weapons, which is still true.

By Jeffrey George Anderson (Jeff) on Sunday, June 30, 2019 - 08:14 pm: Edit

My intent with my last post was to address what Charles Gray said about how the Magellanics appeared relatively weak compared with the ISC war era Alpha ships.

My use of the Mass Drivers was merely my attempt to use them as an example. I mean, they once REALLY caught me by surprise; I'd seen their stats and thought of them on a much smaller basis.

(Afterwards, they became a favorite, even if I've never really been able to use them well... )

By Charles Gray (Cgray34) on Wednesday, July 03, 2019 - 01:59 am: Edit

Another question, the various asteroid shipyards are said to be difficult to detect. But are there any stated rules for that in a strategic sense?

By Richard B. Eitzen (Rbeitzen) on Wednesday, July 03, 2019 - 10:55 am: Edit

What do you mean by a strategic sense?

By Charles Gray (Cgray34) on Wednesday, July 03, 2019 - 04:23 pm: Edit

Any rules that make them more difficult to find say, in an F&E game? I don't really play F&E, never had a group for it, but I was wondering fi the fluff, that shipyards like this are hard to find, was reflected in the rules, say, requiring an extra effort to discover asteroid shipyards or similar hidden bases.

By Richard B. Eitzen (Rbeitzen) on Wednesday, July 03, 2019 - 05:50 pm: Edit

There are no rules for anything Magellanic in F&E.

I don't know of anything other than SFB that has any rules for the Magellanic Cloud and it doesn't sound like what you are asking is covered within the scope of Star Fleet Battles.