How many roads must a man drive down,
Before she tells him he's lost?
How many malls must a woman shop at,
Before he counts up the cost?
The answer young men, Is that you'll never win.
The answer is that you'll never win.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, April 16, 2014 - 11:40 am: Edit

Last night on the way home (on I-27, which comes within 1.5 miles of the office and two blocks of my house) I observed a huge cloud of dust on the right side of the road, obviously between the highway and the parallel access roads. All of the tail lights in front of me turned red. I moved over to the left, dropped speed, and coasted past a few parked cars and a semi-truck.

Glancing to the right I observed a very badly damaged car and a body laying in the ditch between the highway and the acccess road. That did it for me. I pulled over, backed up, and got out. About a dozen other people did the same.

Walking into the accident scene, I saw only one damaged car, sitting sideways blocking the two-lane access road. It had all of the glass broken and the roof caved in; I could only assume it had rolled over. I saw a second body, this one laying in the ditch on the outside of the access road. The doors of the car were jammed and it was obvious to me that both people had been thrown out of the car. I'm going to guess they were not wearing seat belts. People were "attending" both bodies and I assumed they were both alive.

I decided that the most I could contribute to the crisis was in my role as an MP (which I was, ten years ago. for 11 years). I walked up on the highway, to be met by a truckdriver (from Canada) who had thought as I did. The traffic was not moving over and was slowing down to gawk at the mess.

This was a case of deja vu for me. Almost 20 years ago on the way to a State Guard drill I came upon exactly the same thing. Accident. Slow traffic. Gawkers. This is exactly what the State Guard gave me a medal for. (Texas Medal of Merit with V-device for Valor.)

I started waving my arms (in the ways the State Police trained the State Guard) and clearing out the traffic. Most people WANT to be good and to do what is needed and only have to be reminded or told what to do. Traffic increased speed (a little), gawking stopped, and cars moved over to the left lane.

I took over the "front" position from the truck driver (who remarked that this could not be my first rodeo as I clearly knew how to do it) and stood in the middle of the right hand lane, forcing cars to move over.

After a few minutes, a car pulled up and a lady got out, put on a "Road vest" (the reflective kind) and said "I'll take over." I told her she could help me as my arms were tired but that I was an MP and knew what I was doing. She and I took turns in the "front" and "backup" postions for ten more minutes, during which county sheriffs, highway patrol, city police, university police, ambualances, fire trucks, and who knows what else but they all had flashing lights, rolled into the scene.

After that, a real deputy sheriff walked up and said he would take over. (This is not just a matter of him being paid to do it and presumably knowing more than an average citizen would know, but the county is liable if I get hit doing what I was doing.) I told him that I had spent 11 years in the MPs and did know what I was doing. He said that it was obvious to him that somebody had taught me the right way to handle it.

I walked back by the actual accident scene where medics were attending to the two injured people. As both were loaded in ambulances I could only assume both were still alive.

I spotted a sheriff's deputy with sergeant stripes, told him "I got here after it happened and was just directing traffic. May I leave?" and he said "sure, and thanks, I saw you when I rolled up. Where did you learn that?" I told him I had been an MP. He thanked me again and I left.

Funny thing is that most of the time I am pretty much a helpless cripple after 30 minutes of walking and standing, due to my broken knee. However, I never felt a thing. Addrennalin I guess. It felt good to do good.

I won't call myself a "professional traffic controller" but I was trained by State-certified teachers. In an emergency, do what you gotta do, but the instant somebody who is actually trained to do it shows up, let them take over.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, May 14, 2014 - 05:57 pm: Edit

Photos from the wolf trip.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Monday, June 02, 2014 - 03:01 pm: Edit

Steve Petrick and I are taking a sick day due to food poisoning. We went to a restaurant we frequently go to, and ordered a dinner we had eaten before. A new cook ignored the owner's recipe and got creative, adding onions. The owner, unaware of this, ordered him to load up our plates with double portions. We ate with gusto, but began to think something was wrong. We discovered onions. The owner berated the cook who said "it's loaded with onions". We left (the owner told us not to pay) and I vomited on the parking lot. We drove to the office and Steve went to his car. We drove to our homes. I saw Steve vomit at least once, and I vomited blood when I got home. The girls called an hour later to tease us about "galavanting" and were shocked to hear what had happened.

By Randy Blair (Randyblair) on Monday, June 02, 2014 - 03:28 pm: Edit

Are you guys allergic to onions?

By Ryan Opel (Ryan) on Monday, June 02, 2014 - 03:44 pm: Edit

They are both extremely allergic to onions.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, June 04, 2014 - 12:01 am: Edit

We have both been allergic to onions, peppers, and mushrooms for as long as we can remember. I had a major incident involving onions at age nine and the folks never again fed me onions. Remember that most kids don't want "strong flavors" until about that age anyway so it had just started to come up. I had been a sickly child for a year or two before that and it was all due to food allergies. I was officially diagnosed as allergic to onions and peppers at age 20. i have been hospitalized for onion toxins three times, the last when I was 24. My aunts refused to believe I was allergic until I was 35; they thought I was just being •••••• rude at family dinners. Leanna doesn't like onions, hates peppers, and won't even think about eating mushrooms so she has my back. She has nursed me through some awful nights, the worst being when a creative chef suddenly added jalapeño juice to a meal I had safely eaten for years.

For better or worse nobody in my family ate mushrooms so they were never much of an issue and i was 40 before I found out about that one by accident when I ate some stew my aunt fixed with shrooms and instantly vomited.

Mom almost never cooked with bell peppers (she knew i did not like them and just let me be finicky about what was on my salad). Mom never ever cooked with jalapenos so that never came up.

Random bouts of "severe stomach ache" were probably allergen powders in canned food. Lots of canned food has tiny amounts of onion powder and I eat that without incident. The strong smell of raw onions will often make me vomit. Once Ken ate a chili dog with onions and then came and sat down beside me and I vomited instantly (held it in my mouth until I reached a trash can). Jean ordered an omelet once (knowing from field tests that cooked onions on the other side of the table will not QUITE make me puke) but the onions were raw and I had to move to another table to avoid ruining lunch for the entire room.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, June 04, 2014 - 12:23 am: Edit

I get by in restaurants quite well by just ordering the same thing over and over after I know it is safe. Jean's concept of "adventure dining" makes me nervous and terrifies Steve Petrick. Ordering a new item in a new restaurant requires carefully questioning the waitress, owner, manager, and cook. Picking up a burger at the drive up means unwrapping it on the spot to make sure the onions are removed and cleverly marking the meat to make sure they don't just take off the onions and hand me back a burger poisoned with onion juice.

At home Leanna makes sure I am safe. I have to use a magnifying to read the ingredient list on every can and package I buy.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, June 04, 2014 - 06:38 pm: Edit

Loren, have you never seen the list?
Both of our fathers were engineers.
Both of our mothers were nurses.
Both of our younger brothers died before their time.
We both were engaged in college to women named Nancy who dumped us.
The list is very long. These are only a few examples.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, June 04, 2014 - 11:34 pm: Edit

When we met, we both drove blue cars.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Thursday, February 13, 2014 - 01:24 am: Edit

I hear the rains falling in the night.
But she hears only gurgles of the swamp run.
She's waiting there for us to drive.
Her soulful wails wish we'd take her to her salvation.
We stopped the truck along the way,
Hoping for something that's dry in this swamp of desperation.
She called us up as if to say: "hurry Steves I'm waiting here for you."

It's gonna take a while to bail out my canoe.
It's faster than a rubber boat with oars could ever do.
Please stop the rains down in Carolina.
It's gonna take some time to dry the things that got all wet.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Tuesday, October 14, 2014 - 11:35 am: Edit

He's a bengal (a mix of egyptian mau,and asian wildcat)

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Friday, October 24, 2014 - 05:36 am: Edit

Lest anyone wonder, my medication wakes me up every 2 or 3 hours, and I grabbed the iPad to check in. I can feel myself yawning and will be asleep again in a few minutes. Another 3 hour nap and I will be good for a long drive.