Robert, that joke actually appeared in a recent Doonesbury cartoon strip. It was an american reporter escorting UN weapons inspectors responding to an inquiry by an iraqi official.

By Robert Herneson (Rherneson) on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 11:06 am: Edit

Garth, there are no former Marines.
Jeff, I try to only (even if unknowingly) steal from the best.

R

By Jeff Laikind (J_Laikind) on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 06:04 pm: Edit

Some time ago, I heard that the only ex-Marine was Lee Harvey Oswald.

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 10:58 pm: Edit

Random question... are we allowed to use custom or proposed ships for our fiction? I had considered using PHD's Z-CLD (Kzinti Drone LIght Cruiser... according to the history only one was produced.) and since it apparently was not approved by ADB yet, I am hesitant to use it. Common sense tells me not to use it at all, but I thought I'd ask.

By Loren Knight (Loren) on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 11:07 pm: Edit

In my CL30 story the opening sequence was going to use a D6V and have several fighters involved. That ship was to be destroyed.

Steve Petrick pointed out that the Klingons have very few D6V's and they would have to be very careful about destroying such a unique ship in the opening stages of the General War. I found that it was easy enough to simply make it a vanilla D6 and managed to save my good lines.

Anyway, any fiction that would be published must use official real ships that were present in the year the story is set in. Stories must fit all the rules that come into play during the story. It is a good idea to play out your battle scenes and study the SSD's of the ships you are using. I had to study the D6 carefully and later in the story the Lyran DD and CW, and the Orion CR.

By Michael Powers (Mtpowers) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 09:50 am: Edit

Mike Ptak: I don't see a reason why you couldn't use a custom ship...but it would be a really tough sell. You'd have to have a really cracker-jack story that only worked with the custom ship.

Basically, ask yourself: "if I change the custom ship to the generic version of the same class, what parts of the story are broken?" If the only reason you're using a custom ship is to allow you to "surprise" an enemy with unexpected weapons or power, that's not enough to get your custom ship approved.

Although it occurs to me that this only applies to combat ships. If you're talking about a Free Trader, the editors will probably be much more lenient.

By Ken Burnside (Ken_Burnside) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 02:45 pm: Edit

Something that came up over lunch:

1) The more of your fiction that relies on the command deck of the starship, the more glaring any oddities with the SFB rules are going to be. While it's traditional to focus on the CO of the ship doing the fiction, try doing some other perspectives as well. A story of a battle told from the damage control teams perspective might be very entertaining, particularly if they're the reason why a hit and run raid failed.

2) Focus on interpersonal dynamics at least as much as you focus on hardware.

3) Do not try to hinge your story on a "trick tactic". Have disruptors miss at the worst time for your heroes. Have the photons hit with one of four from the Federation heavy cruiser.

4) Show the bridge as a hub of frantic and hurried communications. It's possible for an order to be partially heard and only fully understood later...having a junior officer hear and order, think he's understood it, run to the duty station, and only THEN realize that it was ambiguous, and figure it out inductively (while the captain is wondering why it isn't being done Right Now...) could make for some interesting dramatic tension.

Did we mention "no trick tactics"? Good. Please keep it in mind. (The problem with trick tactics is that they have to get by Steve Petrick, and can completely kill an otherwise excellent story when they fail to do so. The secondary problem with trick tactics is that once you've published a string of stories about trick tactics, they get old after a while...

The same applies to the Federation heavy cruiser that always hits with its photons, or the last gasp type IV drone that manages to just hit a down shield.

In some ways, it might be worth looking at (surprise!) some of the more detailed write ups of battle scenes from Victory at Origins articles, and use that as your template for how your space combat scene goes.

5) Especially with the publication of Prime Directive, there's more to the Star Fleet Universe than space combat. Some things that might be great places to set fiction:

The tree monster planet in Romulan Space was used by the ISC as a POW camp; picture the series LOST set there...

The Federation is pushing towards Klinshai. The war is all but lost; how do you convince the planet behind the Federation lines to NOT rebel? Particularly when there's an old, retired warrior who's taken to training the Bargantine farmers in commando tactics?

You're captain Reynolds Malcomson of the Orion Free Traitor Serenity; you've taken on a paying passenger who claims to be a Paladin of the Klingon Empire, who wants to get across the Kzinti Border. Yet, somehow, your trade contacts have been shut down by the Empire Security Services. Is he what he claims to be? What is his real mission? Will your cast of oddball crew put up with this kind of interference? (What, you thought the passenger would be a psychic girl and her older brother, the physician? ;))

Two fighter pilots have to bail out over a marginally hospitable planet, and (coincidentally) land near each other. One's a Romulan. The other's a Gorn. Their fleets have both left this system, and for all they know they're stranded. Whomever's side picks them up will put the other into a POW camp...but in the mean time, they have to cooperate to survive. Surely you can rip off Jack London for this one.

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 03:29 pm: Edit

...I'm having the impression that a lot of the rejected stories feature larger-than-life heroes, hero ships which never miss their mark, and clones of Kirk all over the place.

Well, Though I have yet to go somewhere with this story, I am creating a Lyran-Kzinti fiction (No set date yet...) with some diverse characters. (A Lyran captain fleeing the Lyran political scene and enjoys quiet silence, for example). If I could, I would avoid fighting all together and create it as a story not just for SFB, but a trek fiction set inside the world of SFB.

I've written enough fiction to avoid superheroes and superstarships. Why do you think I'm taking the advice to plot out the battles on a board before committing them to writing? This is one reason why I would like to avoid the battles and focus more on character development :D

Burnside: Nice plots! I'll bet they're all taken though... and that last one sounds too much like 'Enemy mine'

Good thing is, none of those involve starships

By Tim Losberg (Krager) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 03:36 pm: Edit

---

Quote:

1) The more of your fiction that relies on the command deck of the starship, the more glaring any oddities with the SFB rules are going to be. While it's traditional to focus on the CO of the ship doing the fiction, try doing some other perspectives as well. A story of a battle told from the damage control teams perspective might be very entertaining, particularly if they're the reason why a hit and run raid failed.

---

By Loren Knight (Loren) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 07:50 pm: Edit

Tim, have you read my CL30 story?

By Tim Losberg (Krager) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 08:54 pm: Edit

Yes, I liked it very much and it helped me get over my block for describing my combat scene. Very similiar situation, I've not done too much lately on it (all my game material, and therefore my refrences) have been packed up for a house remodel) so I haven't re-written it so it does not look like an exact copy of your story

I am under the handicap that my SFB days are far in the murky past, my story is more F&E inspired so coming up with a realistic combat scene has been a challenge....

By Randy O. Green (Hollywood750) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 09:50 pm: Edit

Ken: Well, now I guess I'll never write about Gorns again without seeing Louis Gossett Jr's face. Thanks Ken!

Mike Ptak: Write the story as you want. There are other products within the Starfleet Universe that they need good fiction for, and if you study Kzinti-Lyran history/racial descriptions/etc you should be able to put together something that they can use. I'm confident that you can succeed.

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 10:42 pm: Edit

:D

If I were handed the task to describe, in detail, the Lyrans and the Kzinti, their culture, backrgound, and what not... I would have to overcome dying of happiness. It would be something I would love to do with the leeway I would be given.

Even bigger, since I've become something of a fan of Larry Niven's interpretation of the Kzinti. Finding some medium between the Animated episode, Niven's own take on the Kzinti, and how they are portrayed in the SFU is a challenge I would gladly take.

I was hoping in this way to peak and hint at it in my fiction... but I would rather write a descriptive text about it. I'm by no means a proffesional writer (yet ;) But I do carry a lot of ideas.

And I just found the SSD for the L-CA in my SFC version of SFB! Now then, where can I find a Kzinti CL...

And when my paycheck finally comes in, three guesses where it's going :D

By Loren Knight (Loren) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 10:57 pm: Edit

Tim, no problem for your story just making sure you were aware as since it's published it's SFU history. It really should be a simple matter to adjust thing so that there is little resemblance. Starting in the middle of action is a good tool to get ahold of the read quickly so use it to great success!

Mike Ptak, I suggest writing anything. Start exploring the SFU and try out some Kzinti and Lyran ideas. If a story is good SVC will do what it takes to make it work. The ship you use isn't what is going to make the story good, even if it's central to the plot. It's your characters and their interaction that matters most. SO if you don't write about the "SHIP" then there is always something that can be done to make it work.

Believe me, not one story I've done had all the same ships as I started with!

By Tim Losberg (Krager) on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 11:13 pm: Edit

Mike, To overcome my obsessive need to be exact in all details, I had started just inserting [blanks] in places where I would need to find a ship/system/person of intrest. I had stopped all work on my story for a week, just to figure out what the name of some support ship should be... the things I obsess on and the things I gloss over... sheesh

Loren, someday if I can get my opening polished enough I'll have to send you a copy to look at...

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 01:18 am: Edit

My problem isn't so much as stalling on names (but that is a useful tip Tim) as overcoming the desire to dive into the world I'm 'exploring' and flesh out the details.

For example if I really wanted to get into it, not only would I describe the history of the ship in question, but I would be describing how the Captain of the said Kzin ship was a related to the Count as an offspring of the count's younger brother. If I was really up to it and if I had what's already been established, I'd go so far as to explain the history of the house in question.

I've done some writing works as pastimes for other places (Computer Mods wanting a backstory for a certain ship, for example) and I love doing it. That's my obsessive need to be exact in detail :D

So I suppose the first start is getting something to SVC...

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 05:48 am: Edit

Another thing I wanted to ask, as it could have been a potential plot...

When I went to check the possible module for 'Ancient Empires', SVC specificly mentions No Slavers. May I ask why? Slaver artifacts would be interesting finds for the Lyrans, Kzin, and Klingons to fight over. After all, don't the Klingons have working Stasis feild generators? Stasis feilds, IIRC, were invented by the slavers (or their enemies, the tnuctipun).

By Michael Powers (Mtpowers) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 08:35 am: Edit

Mike: It's probably a licensing issue.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 10:49 am: Edit

Replies to various posts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Ptak
are we allowed to use custom or proposed ships for our fiction? I had considered using PHD's Z-CLD (Kzinti Drone LIght Cruiser... according to the history only one was produced.) and since it apparently was not approved by ADB yet, I am hesitant to use it. Common sense tells me not to use it at all, but I thought I'd ask.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: It depends. In most cases, the ship would have to be approved before the story could be published. A bunch of pirates or adventurers who had tricked out their free trader would be an easy sell, but a federation CA modified with an ESG would be dead on arrival. Anything from PHD would not be usable unless we published the ship first. We do, by the way, have a drone version of the Kzinti CL actually in the game already.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Loren Knight
In my CL30 story the opening sequence was going to use a D6V and have several fighters involved. That ship was to be destroyed. Steve Petrick pointed out that the Klingons have very few D6V's and they would have to be very careful about destroying such a unique ship in the opening stages of the General War. I found that it was easy enough to simply make it a vanilla D6 and managed to save my good lines.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Generally speaking, destroying ships (especially ships named in other fiction) requires approval from Petrick. In the case of Loren’s story, it could be any old ship that got blown up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Powers
You'd have to have a really cracker-jack story that only worked with the custom ship. Basically, ask yourself: "if I change the custom ship to the generic version of the same class, what parts of the story are broken?" If the only reason you're using a custom ship is to allow you to "surprise" an enemy with unexpected weapons or power, that's not enough to get your custom ship approved.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: All basically true.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
1) The more of your fiction that relies on the command deck of the starship, the more glaring any oddities with the SFB rules are going to be. While it's traditional to focus on the CO of the ship doing the fiction, try doing some other perspectives as well. A story of a battle told from the damage control teams perspective might be very entertaining, particularly if they're the reason why a hit and run raid failed.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: I was there at lunch and I don’t remember this point being made. Anyway, it’s not a bad concept. A lot goes on in a starship and stories can be written from many points of view.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
2) Focus on interpersonal dynamics at least as much as you focus on hardware.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Plot comes from Character, not technology.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
3) Do not try to hinge your story on a "trick tactic". Have disruptors miss at the worst time for your heroes. Have the photons hit with one of four from the Federation heavy cruiser.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Ken mixes two things, both of which are bad. A federation ship that during the course of the story fires 12 photons and they all hit is just crazy, and we’d expect the writer to do a better job of it. The other point was that we have seen too many fatal flaws in stories, and have gotten tired of glossing over them with handwaving. (Remember the Klingon captain who refused to scan the incoming Federation shuttle for life signs just to avoid giving her the satisfaction that he had taken her advice?) One story that was rejected involved a very long running plot ruined at the end when one fleet drove into the hex occupied by some crippled third party ships. The enemy first to blow up the third-party ships, destroying the first fleet in the explosion. This is just absurd. Given multiple choices of routes to take why would any competent naval officer take his ships into the only situation in which they could be destroyed?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
4) Show the bridge as a hub of frantic and hurried communications. It's possible for an order to be partially heard and only fully understood later...having a junior officer hear and order, think he's understood it, run to the duty station, and only THEN realize that it was ambiguous, and figure it out inductively (while the captain is wondering why it isn't being done Right Now...) could make for some interesting dramatic tension.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: While this was never mentioned at lunch and is Ken’s own idea, it’s not a bad one.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
Did we mention "no trick tactics"? Good. Please keep it in mind. (The problem with trick tactics is that they have to get by Steve Petrick, and can completely kill an otherwise excellent story when they fail to do so. The secondary problem with trick tactics is that once you've published a string of stories about trick tactics, they get old after a while... The same applies to the Federation heavy cruiser that always hits with its photons, or the last gasp type IV drone that manages to just hit a down shield.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Yes, they get old.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
In some ways, it might be worth looking at (surprise!) some of the more detailed write ups of battle scenes from Victory at Origins articles, and use that as your template for how your space combat scene goes.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: I’m not sure this would actually work but if it did it would be swell.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
5) Especially with the publication of Prime Directive, there's more to the Star Fleet Universe than space combat. Some things that might be great places to set fiction:
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Indeed!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
The tree monster planet in Romulan Space was used by the ISC as a POW camp; picture the series LOST set there...
- - - - -
SVC Replies: The problem is that this planet is on the rim of the galaxy and the ISC never went there.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
The Federation is pushing towards Klinshai. The war is all but lost; how do you convince the planet behind the Federation lines to NOT rebel? Particularly when there's an old, retired warrior who's taken to training the Bargantine farmers in commando tactics?
- - - - -
SVC Replies: could be workable.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Burnside
Something that came up over lunch:
You're captain Reynolds Malcomson of the Orion Free Traitor Serenity... Two fighter pilots have to bail out over a marginally hospitable planet, and (coincidentally) land near each other. One's a Romulan. The other's a Gorn.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Everybody is a commedian.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Mike Ptak
...I'm having the impression that a lot of the rejected stories feature larger-than-life heroes, hero ships which never miss their mark, and clones of Kirk all over the place.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: While all such stories are rejected, they form a relatively small segment of those submitted.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Mike Ptak
Well, Though I have yet to go somewhere with this story, I am creating a Lyran-Kzinti fiction (No set date yet...) with some diverse characters. (A Lyran captain fleeing the Lyran political scene and enjoys quiet silence, for example). If I could, I would avoid fighting all together and create it as a story not just for SFB, but a trek fiction set inside the world of SFB.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Possible, but Captain’s Log usually focuses on battle fiction. If we ever get a paperback book like up and running, such a story could find a home there.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Mike Ptak
I've written enough fiction to avoid superheroes and superstarships. Why do you think I'm taking the advice to plot out the battles on a board before committing them to writing? This is one reason why I would like to avoid the battles and focus more on character development :D
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Character development good. Avoiding battles creates special circumstances that limit publication opportunities.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Losberg
I am currently writing a story just like that, it basically begins with a major fleet battle as seen from the emergency bridge of the flagship, with the XO is taking control of damage control from there.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: I look forward to this, although we have done it before.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy O. Green
Mike Ptak: Write the story as you want. There are other products within the Starfleet Universe that they need good fiction for, and if you study Kzinti-Lyran history/racial descriptions/etc you should be able to put together something that they can use. I'm confident that you can succeed.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Everybody is free to write the story they want but doesn’t have a constitutional right to force me to publish it. I have had authors tell me "this is my story and I’m going to tell it my way" and those stores don’t get published.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Mike Ptak
If I were handed the task to describe, in detail, the Lyrans and the Kzinti, their culture, backrgound, and what not... I would have to overcome dying of happiness. It would be something I would love to do with the leeway I would be given. Even bigger, since I've become something of a fan of Larry Niven's interpretation of the Kzinti. Finding some medium between the Animated episode, Niven's own take on the Kzinti, and how they are portrayed in the SFU is a challenge I would gladly take.
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Sooner or later we are going to publish an RPG book called Feline Empires and this will forever define those two races. If you want to take a shot at it, write up an outline and a few sample bits and pieces, maybe five or six pages, and I’ll read it and let you know. Understand, however, that "leeway" is on a fairly short leash. You can’t change anything already published, although in some cases you can explain exceptions and complexities of a given point. It has to make sense, and it has to fit. Our Kzintis are not Niven’s and the less of his material that is added to what we have published the better, with zero being the preferred quantity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Loren Knight
Starting in the middle of action is a good tool to get ahold of the reader quickly so use it to great success!
- - - - -
SVC Replies: Starting with a bang is a good thing. Starting with the first scene and then saying "four days earlier" for the next scene is a writer’s trick that I absolutely hate and I would probably rearrange the scenes in order before publishing the story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Loren Knight
Mike Ptak, I suggest writing anything. Start exploring the SFU and try out some Kzinti and Lyran ideas. If a story is good SVC will do what it takes to make it work. The ship you use isn't what is going to make the story good, even if it's central to the plot. It's your characters and their interaction that matters most. SO if you don't write about the "SHIP" then there is always something that can be done to make it work. Believe me, not one story I've done had all the same ships as I started with!
- - - - -
SVC Replies: I can fix anything, but given limited time I only have the luxury to fix the very best of stories.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Losberg
Mike, To overcome my obsessive need to be exact in all details, I had started just inserting [blanks] in places where I would need to find a ship/system/person of intrest. I had stopped all work on my story for a week, just to figure out what the name of some support ship should be... the things I obsess on and the things I gloss over... sheesh
- - - - -
SVC Replies: When write anything for SFU if I run into a detail like that I just use square brackets to insert a note and let Petrick look it up later.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Ptak
My problem isn't so much as stalling on names (but that is a useful tip Tim) as overcoming the desire to dive into the world I'm 'exploring' and flesh out the details.
For example if I really wanted to get into it, not only would I describe the history of the ship in question, but I would be describing how the Captain of the said Kzin ship was a related to the Count as an offspring of the count's younger brother. If I was really up to it and if I had what's already been established, I'd go so far as to explain the history of the house in question. So I suppose the first start is getting something to SVC...
- - - - -
SVC Replies: If such Dickensian side trips add to the story and given the characters a motivation, no problem. Unrelated and extraneous chunks just to "explore" have a place in certain kinds of fiction but in cases where space is limited they’re cuttable.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Ptak
Another thing I wanted to ask, as it could have been a potential plot...
When I went to check the possible module for 'Ancient Empires', SVC specificly mentions No Slavers. May I ask why? Slaver artifacts would be interesting finds for the Lyrans, Kzin, and Klingons to fight over. After all, don't the Klingons have working Stasis feild generators? Stasis feilds, IIRC, were invented by the slavers (or their enemies, the tnuctipun).
- - - - -
SVC Replies: The slavers are not part of the star fleet universe, but we do have the Old Kings, the Leopard Kings, the Lizard Kings, and the Spirit Kings who are pre-existing races. Ancient technological artifacts can be cool (if they don’t change the entire universe forever) but the slavers are not usable. From the sound of it, I would probably just edit slavers into the Leopard Kings and let you know what I did. I should comment on that. First, I have the right to change anything I want and don’t need your approval. Second, I only do that when it’s necessary to eliminate problems, loopholes, contradictions, absurdities, and the like and I do this on the theory that I can reject your story exactly as you wrote it or publish it and write you a check exactly as I fixed it. Third, I very often insert bits of dialogue or background to tie the story to other parts of the universe or better explain the situation.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 11:17 am: Edit

In answer to questions, marines, boarding parties, heavy weapons squads, combat engineers, and commandoes are all marines, not navy.

By Michael Powers (Mtpowers) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 11:24 am: Edit

>Third, I very often insert bits of dialogue or
>background to tie the story to other parts of
>the universe or better explain the situation.

Mike: For a good example of this, look at my post in the After-Action Review for CL31. Somewhere in there I posted an RTF of my original story submission, with the editor's commentary. You could compare that to the final, published work.

Note that I'm not suggesting that you send half a story to SVC and expect him to turn it into a finished work! I'm just giving an example of the kind of things that SVC's edit pass will do.

By Mike Ptak (Norsehound) on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 09:53 pm: Edit

- - - - -
SVC Replies: The slavers are not part of the star fleet universe, but we do have the Old Kings, the Leopard Kings, the Lizard Kings, and the Spirit Kings who are pre-existing races. Ancient technological artifacts can be cool (if they don’t change the entire universe forever) but the slavers are not usable. From the sound of it, I would probably just edit slavers into the Leopard Kings and let you know what I did. I should comment on that. First, I have the right to change anything I want and don’t need your approval. Second, I only do that when it’s necessary to eliminate problems, loopholes, contradictions, absurdities, and the like and I do this on the theory that I can reject your story exactly as you wrote it or publish it and write you a check exactly as I fixed it. Third, I very often insert bits of dialogue or background to tie the story to other parts of the universe or better explain the situation.
-------------------------------------------------

I'd be interested to know what's already been established about the Leopard Kings, since Ancinet empires has not been released (or even designated as an up-and-comming product). Or am I free to explore here?

As to the limitations- I fully agree. I'd be a fool to challenge the laws that allow authors like myself to contribute.

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 10:35 pm: Edit

I have yet-another story idea cooking. I'm not sure how to start it, but I know the ending / punch-line. I think I'll start by skipping to the fourth or fifth paragraph and go back to write the start later after I see how it goes.

I do need some help on one thing. Well, six things, actually: I need Romulan male names for the characters.

If someone would e-mail me, I'll tell them the basic plot and who the characters are, and ask for good names to fill in. I'll give them first-read of it once I'm done.

It's a non-combat story, so I'll probably end up just post it here ... I doubt SVC wants to publish non-combat stories in a CL. But I need to get it down in type so I can get it OUT OF MY HEAD.


Garth L. Getgen

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 08:02 am: Edit

Since I've been thinking of getting you to proof read a story I'm working on, I think I'll put my hand up for this.

If that's okay, say so and I'll email you so you can have my address.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 11:05 am: Edit

Uh.... MJC, I love ya, man, but you are not qualified to proofread anything.

Garth, a new "marketing concept" may give us space for lots of kinds of fiction.

By Randy O. Green (Hollywood750) on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 11:35 pm: Edit

Garth, just google Roman or Romulan names for examples, then let your imagination run free..

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 06:54 am: Edit

I thought I was putting my hand up for inventing half a dozen Vulcan names.

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 07:06 am: Edit

Actually the key to Vulcan names is to start by spitting.
Sarek and Xon don't quite fit but "S" sounds do spit a little.
But names like; Spock, T'pall, Tuvock and T'pring (spock's betroved), all have a start that is like spitting.

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 03:08 am: Edit

Garth L. Getgen:

I've just finished some SFB fiction and way wondering if you'ld like to proof read it for me.

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 07:11 pm: Edit

Sure, I'll give it a read. But I'm a lot easier than Petrick, so don't expect me to catch everything he'll nail you on.

Include the word "SFB" in the subject line to get it past my spam-filter.


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 10:40 pm: Edit

MJC: Got your story and am reading it.

I don't know about Down Under, but American punctuation for dialog goes like this:

He said, "Blah blah blah."

He said (comma) (space) (open quote) (no space) Blah blah blah (period) (close quote).

Note: Don't use the close-quote if the same person keeps right on speaking into the next paragraph. Start said next paragraph(s) with an open quote, and don't put the closed-quote until that person stops talking.


"Blah blah blah," he said.

(Open quote) Blah blah blah (no space) (comma) (close quote) (space) he said (period).

I noticed right off you were using a semi-colon in place of the comma, and you had the space on the wrong side of the quote mark.


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 10:45 pm: Edit

MJC: I think you really need to change the one character's name (begins with "M"). Unless I am really mispronouncing it badly, it sounds slightly .. perverted ... if you say it out loud.


Garth L. Getgen

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 07:03 am: Edit

I don't understand what you mean.
Captain M'Tini has a name loosely based around Makhaya Ntini who is a South African blowler.
Read up in Wikapedia if you want.

Unless you meant the chief engineer Milhouse Adams?


Also I was taught:-
"Blah, Blah, Blah"; he said. The semicolon is used for speach where I come from...but only in the first usage in the scantence so:-
"Blah, Blah"; he said and paused for poetic effect,"BLAH". Would also be correct.
I guess getting to what the steves think is okay is the safest bet.

By Greg Ernest (Grege) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 08:40 am: Edit

Sounds like the difference with American written grammer and that of wherever MJC is from. (His profile doesn't list anything other than a very old pro-firearms quip.)

By Loren Knight (Loren) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 10:26 am: Edit

MJC: You were taught that because you live in Australia. If you use Australian punctuation then you will be forcing more work on SVC should he wish to print your story because he isn't going to print it using Australian punctuation.

Now that you know what is acceptable (this info is also available in the Input Guide and also the style sheet so you should have already known) wouldn't it be kind of stubborn to do otherwise?

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 10:54 am: Edit

I would send it back unread if it arrived with australian punctuation. Too much work for me to fix it.

By Nikolaus Athas (Nycathis) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 04:47 pm: Edit

No idea where MJC gets his punctuation rules from but they are not Australian as far as I know.

(and I should know seeing how Im Australian /grin)

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 06:22 pm: Edit

MJC: No, I meant the character whose name begins with "M" on the planetoid. Let me get to my other computer, the one with e-mail configured, and I'll spell it out for you. Maybe it's a difference between American slang and Aussie slang ......


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 06:31 pm: Edit

MJC: First read thru the story -- grammer / puncuations / non-American spelling aside -- cute story, but not ready for publication yet even to a fan-fic site. Seriously, it needs a LOT of tweaking -- heck, some out-right overhull in places -- before you should let it out to public eyes. And in my opinion, not a story that SPP would be interested in forwarding to SVC for consideration. It's not an SFB story by any stretch ... perhaps, with some work, it could be the basis for a Prime Directive story. As I said, kinda a cute story. I did like the closing comments by the ship's Captain.


Garth L. Getgen

By michael john campbell (Michaelcampbell) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 10:33 pm: Edit

• Mordiki Vanunu and Kim Philbee sounded like a good pair to steal names from.

• Did you get curious and look up Richard Gere's middle name?

• So your thinking this story could be classified as an atrocity...being a relative term and all???

By Loren Knight (Loren) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 11:00 pm: Edit

Well, it's better than naming the hero Lessdiki.

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 11:10 pm: Edit

Atrocity? No. It's not "bad", per say. Not as long as you consider it a rough draft and not a final product. I'll doctor it up with comments and e-mail it back. Assuming I can figure out what the heck I did to my e-mail reader on my computer. {sigh} I can always send it form my wife's computer.

It came out to a bit more than seven pages (ten-pitch with 1/2" margens). I would suspect that it'll be 10 to 12 pages after it's fleshed out a bit more. Yes, I think it'll need that much added.

Gere's middle name. I know it's a girl's name, if memory serves, but I couldn't care less. I did have to wonder why anyone in the 23rd centery would remember who Gere was, let along care about his middle name. Likewise, the character yelling "Bite me!" seemed out of place. Rather, out of time, for it was a fair place to yell such a thing.

Am I the only one that has a problem with the name "Mordiki"?? (I can just hear a Jay Leno joke in that one.)


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 11:17 pm: Edit

Loren, that's kinda my point. {shrug} Maybe slang is different Down Under.


Garth L. Getgen