TREK SKETCHES: Starship Secrets - Gorn Edition runtime = 6:57


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Friday, August 25, 2023 - 08:33 pm: Edit

I saw a headline in on-line news that I want to nominate for Best Application of Instant Karma: A man attempted to burn down a church and ended up lighting himself on fire.

I guess the Big Man Upstairs said, "I know where you're going, so let me give you a taste of what it's going to be like."


Garth L. Getgen

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 12:59 am: Edit

Did you hear about the guy who bought a hair piece for a dollar?

Yeah, he said it was a small price toupee.

()


Garth L. Getgen

By Jason E. Schaff (Jschaff297061) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 07:39 am: Edit

Mr. Getgen:

You will please report to The Booth where the management is setting up a continuous loop of disco's greatest hits as played by the Kars for Kids band.

By Kevin Howard (Jarawara) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 09:48 am: Edit

OMG! I am in torment just trying to imagine that.

Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Staying Alive,
Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Staying Alive,
Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Staying Alive,
Donate your car today.

By Jeff Guthridge (Jeff_Guthridge) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 11:17 am: Edit

Set Disruptors to "Punish" and open fire!

By Nick Blank (Nickgb) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 12:24 pm: Edit

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face? Are you depressed?" The horse says "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes into thin air.

See, this is a joke about Descartes' famous statement "I think, therefore I am." I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

By MarkSHoyle (Bolo) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 02:38 pm: Edit

Guy laying in bed... Wife sitting on the edge putting on makeup...
Guy: Why are you putting your makeup on at this time of the night...
Wife: Phone is locked, putting on my face to unlock it...

Memes sometimes do more to explain things than actual explanations....

By Jeff Guthridge (Jeff_Guthridge) on Wednesday, August 30, 2023 - 05:46 pm: Edit

Nick, when perpetrating that crime in future offenses, you really need to accent the final "the" as the colloquial "de" for maximum suffering.

By Garth L. Getgen (Sgt_G) on Friday, September 01, 2023 - 03:49 am: Edit

Proof that reincarnation is real: a honey badger died and came back as Chuck Norris.


Garth L. Getgen

By Mike Curtis (Nashvillen) on Friday, September 01, 2023 - 04:28 pm: Edit

You know, I had a Labor Day joke for y'all...

It just didn't work for me.

By Terry O'Carroll (Terryoc) on Sunday, September 03, 2023 - 12:30 am: Edit

Russian police recently busted a counterfeit cola ring. They suspect that the Mr. Big behind the fake Coke operation is Pablo Escarbonated.

By Jeff Anderson (Jga) on Sunday, September 03, 2023 - 11:08 am: Edit

Reminds me of a time when I mouthed off in Basic.

I was working the CQ desk when the Senior Field barged through (end of day) and barked, "I'm going home for a couple of Brewskis. Whadda you think of that, Private?"

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Warm, flat, Russian beer, Drill Sergeant?"

Put Senior Field Rodriguez on the floor, doubled over with laughter.

(BTW: I was outproccessing at the time; a previously undiagnosed health factor was killing me and when given the option of staying or discharging, as bad off as I was, I opted for civilian life.)

Anyhootch, SF Rodriguez took the opportunity a few days later to get back at me for that one. While (again) working the CQ desk, he charged in, grabbed the phone receiver, shoved it in my face, and barked, "Ooh, ooh, ooh! For you! For you! Better talk to them!!"

Of course there was nothing there but a dial tone, but I had my orders...

"Hello?

"Ronnie! How are ya? How's Nancy?"

(BTW: this was back in `87)

"Yeah, I know. She's always business...

"What's up? What can I do ya for?

"Favor? For you, always!"

(Feigned a little nervousness)

"Rifles? Sure. Helicopters? Umm, Ronnie? Ollie was a Colonel and he couldn't get his hands on stuff like that, but I'll try...

"Hey Ronnie? Umm, I got a little favor to ask you..."

(Got a bit grumpy)

"Would you quit crying?!? I haven't even asked you yet! How you supposed to be in charge of the most powerful nation on Earth if you... Oh, never mind!"

(Turned a little fatigued)

"Yes, Ronnie?

"No, I can't tuck you in; I'm a thousand miles away.

"That I can do." Then I started singing, "Rock a bye baby, on the tree top..."

By this time, SF Rodrigues was turning blue from not being able to breathe through his laughter, doubled over on the CQ room floor, and his howls had brought our CO and XO out of their offices, having NEVER heard him like that before.

In retrospect, I know I could have gotten in SO much trouble for all that, but in the mental and physical state I was in, at the time I just didn't care.

Hope this gave y'all a bit of a laugh, and Webmom? If this violates ADB, Inc. policy regarding not discussing politics on The Boards, I do apologize; please feel free to take it down if it does.

By Joseph Jackson (Bonneville) on Tuesday, September 05, 2023 - 10:04 pm: Edit

I didn't know where to post this, if indeed posting it is a proper solution at all. But as I'm comically stuck on this issue, it seemed to fit.
Here's the situation, I like to check out this forum from time to time on my android phone. About 2 weeks ago this forum, and only this forum went blank on my phone and remains so even now.
I'm open to suggestions.

By Ryan Opel (Ryan) on Tuesday, September 05, 2023 - 10:41 pm: Edit

I have the same issue with one computer on chrome. Works fine on computer with different browser. Works fine on different computers using chrome.

By A David Merritt (Adm) on Tuesday, September 05, 2023 - 10:45 pm: Edit

Check your security settings, This board is not HTTPS compliant, your devices may be "saving you from bad websites.

By Terry O'Carroll (Terryoc) on Wednesday, September 13, 2023 - 03:53 pm: Edit

I'm going on the Ukrainian Neptun diet. I hear it's a great way to lose Kilos!

By MarkSHoyle (Bolo) on Wednesday, September 13, 2023 - 05:42 pm: Edit

Meme popped up on my Facebook page...

USS Enterprise bridge...
Archie Bunker is the Captain..
Archie: Stifle it Spock, Uhura a beer over here...

By Joseph Jackson (Bonneville) on Wednesday, September 27, 2023 - 02:13 pm: Edit

Ha ha! I'm back on my phone. I can't view the forum with Chrome. But it works on Edge. Only took me 2 months to switch. I think like a crock-pot. . .slow and steady.

By Jeff Anderson (Jga) on Thursday, November 23, 2023 - 12:00 pm: Edit

Umm, why are people trying to throw my Romulan Early Dreadnought hulled cargo ship in the oven?

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Friday, November 24, 2023 - 12:43 am: Edit

Joseph,there are instructions in the last newsletter on how to get Chrome into this BBS.

By Kenneth Humpherys (Pmthecat) on Saturday, November 25, 2023 - 11:19 am: Edit

As long as your phone's Chrome browser is synced with a PC Chrome browser, all settings made on your PC should transfer.

By Mike Grafton (Mike_Grafton) on Thursday, November 30, 2023 - 08:19 am: Edit

After a week or two of no BBS on my (8 year old) MS laptop with a Chrome browser, TODAY it mysteriously works...

By Alan Trevor (Thyrm) on Tuesday, December 05, 2023 - 02:44 pm: Edit

For those of you who are fans of the web comic "xkcd", which features humorous explanations of various scientific or technical points; he just started a YouTube channel.

https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif

By A David Merritt (Adm) on Tuesday, December 05, 2023 - 08:39 pm: Edit

Thank you.