A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A backward poet writes inverse.

By Jeff Wile (Jswile) on Saturday, June 14, 2025 - 02:47 pm: Edit

There is a group in Canada, that wishing to show solidarity with like minded people in the United States, started a “No Kings” movement…

That is, until it was pointed out to them, that Actually, Canada does have a king.

By Kosta Michalopoulos (Kosmic) on Saturday, June 14, 2025 - 04:06 pm: Edit

Canadians can have their cake and eat it too. We have a King that lives in another country, so we don't have to pay for his upkeep. He comes for a visit once in a while, and then we do the whole pomp and circumstance thing. Then he goes back home and we can get on with our lives.

By Jeff Anderson (Jga) on Saturday, June 14, 2025 - 06:06 pm: Edit

An acquaintance of mine frequently shows up with amusing shirts on.

Had one the other day that really gave me a chuckle. It said,

"Am I perfect?"

"No."

"But am I working to be better?"

"Also no."

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Sunday, July 27, 2025 - 04:05 am: Edit

A hillariously sarcastic video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhKKM7B9vxg

Lazerpig explains what's wrong with Star Trek in general and specifically the USS Defiant.

====================

Here are no end of trailers about Soviet editions of Star Trek, with Keptin Kirkov and Commander Spokovich.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=soviet+star+trek

By Matthew Lawson (Mglawson) on Monday, July 28, 2025 - 07:21 pm: Edit

Funny about the Defiant. Although I do like the ship, those first few episodes they didn't seem to know what to do with the ship. And it did suffer like the B5 White Stars when it came to overall consistency in size and firepower.

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Thursday, July 31, 2025 - 05:52 pm: Edit

Life advice from Noah
Don’t miss the boat.
Build your future on high ground.
For safety sake, travel in pairs.
Remember that we’re all in the same boat.
Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when I started to build the ark.
Stay fit. When you’re really old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Don’t listen to the critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
When stressed, float a while.
Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic was built by professionals.

By Mike Erickson (Mike_Erickson) on Thursday, July 31, 2025 - 06:27 pm: Edit

>> the Titanic was built by professionals

As were Challenger and Columbia!

--Mike

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, August 20, 2025 - 09:39 pm: Edit

Star Trek the Next Redneckeration

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZvr9D-EWLQ

Star Trek Red Neck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eqYswiW4eo

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Wednesday, August 20, 2025 - 10:54 pm: Edit

Game of Redneck Thrones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSGEXY2nPJk

By Gregory S Flusche (Vandar) on Thursday, August 21, 2025 - 05:57 pm: Edit

That made my day and well reality cracked.

By Jeff Anderson (Jga) on Monday, September 15, 2025 - 09:49 pm: Edit

A friend of mine was nervously giggling the other day. I asked him, "Why?"

He said, "I've swapped out the labels of all the spices on my wife's spice rack. She hasn't found out yet, but I know my Thyme is Cumin."

By Ted Fay (Catwhoeatsphoto) on Monday, September 15, 2025 - 10:56 pm: Edit

Jeff Anderson. Report to the booth. Immediately!

By Gregory S Flusche (Vandar) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 09:53 am: Edit

The booth? I would prefer that over what my wife would do to me!

By Jeff Wile (Jswile) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 04:11 pm: Edit

Oh.my.

Mr. Fay.

In future, may I Suggest that when ordering someone to the Agonizer Booth, some discretion is called for?

In his eagerness to comply, JGA entered the booth that was set up for me pending my next turn…(which does not mean I own it or anything. Just that I have more hours logged in that booth than anyone else.)

In short, assuming he both lives and does not enter a vegetative state, JGA will be exposed to a repeating media set of Stu Whitman 100 greatest hits, its a wonderful world performed by phylis Diller, (if he was foolish enough to put on the virtual Reality headset, he would be treated visual imagery not intended for G rated audiences.)

On the background sound track, Barney the purple dinosaur song ‘we like you’ plays at various frequencies and speeds, constantly for eighteen hours.

For an new client, there is no certainty that JGA will emerge undamaged.

By Ted Fay (Catwhoeatsphoto) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 04:45 pm: Edit

@Jeff Wile:

By Gregory S Flusche (Vandar) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 04:54 pm: Edit

So not Rosane running around in her unmentionables

By Jeff Wile (Jswile) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 05:41 pm: Edit

Roseanne, so far as I am aware of, is still among the living.

Ms Diller, is not, and has not been for years.

Both options are very undesirable.

I guess, the choice depends on JGA.

Does he prefer close contact with an older, but still living lady, or a necrotic older deceased one.

Please note: I have not had any booth time for a number of years.

Took them years, but some body figured out a booth setting that scared me into behaving.

By A David Merritt (Adm) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 06:18 pm: Edit

Slidarian Sergeant

We do our best, to give you the worst.

By Ted Fay (Catwhoeatsphoto) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 06:34 pm: Edit

Kids. Today's new word is... PAIN.

By Jeff Anderson (Jga) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 09:51 pm: Edit

Ahh, the wonderful warmth...

Brings back memories of a trip I made a few years back to Eastern Europe. So many people greeted me with pitchforks and torches...

By Steve Cole (Stevecole) on Tuesday, September 16, 2025 - 11:39 pm: Edit

Last time I mouthed off during a staff meeting Jean locked me in the booth with Greta Thunberg. She was not in a mood for a party.

By Ted Fay (Catwhoeatsphoto) on Wednesday, September 17, 2025 - 11:15 am: Edit

---

Quote:

...Jean locked me in the booth with Greta Thunberg.

---

By Jeff Wile (Jswile) on Wednesday, September 17, 2025 - 11:27 am: Edit

And we now have a new definition of pain.

To use it in a sentence :

“ My god. The man has been Thunberged!”

By Carl-Magnus Carlsson (Hardcore) on Wednesday, September 17, 2025 - 01:55 pm: Edit

Thunberg certainly sounds Klingon.